29 Dec 2021


Many people are eschewing petrochemical-powered machines in favor of old fashion carbohydrate-powered models. It’s becoming a common site to see someone using a push mower like they did in Little Rascal movies. They hardly work worth a crap, but they’re emission-guilt free. I’ve also seen people using rakes instead of loud, annoying blowers. They wave their rakes back and forth, fanning their leaves into piles that they then soak in oil and burn. Sometimes they throw in a tire. Motorized […]

28 Dec 2021


Growing up, I had friends who taped together tin cans to make a long tube that was sealed off at one end. They stuffed a tennis ball in the other end, squirted in some lighter fluid, held a match to it and VOOMPH! the tennis ball was projected across the room. About 30 years later, I learned that this was called a potato cannon. (I’m culturally illiterate and slow to catch up.) Over the years potato cannons have become much […]

27 Dec 2021


At first, I thought these were just safety pins. A few crusty, rusty sources of tetanus. It doesn’t appear that they are being used to keep the ear attached, so I assumed they were just ornamental. “Oh! What fools we mortals be, whence we blighteth thy neighbor’s lobe.” I should have known better. Seriously, who would stick safety pins in their ears for no reason? These are actually high powered micro-transceivers. Very high tech. Each of the four receivers is […]

26 Dec 2021


It’s just a big black rock. So why is it in a temple and why do people worship it? I learned why – The first time I visited, I took this photo. I swear that there was a hooded priest sitting in the vacant chair, but he/she did not come out in the photo. Maybe I should have used film. – There was a strange but very pleasant vibe in the rock room. It felt warm, almost tingly. I could […]

25 Dec 2021


For my whole life I was confused about Christmas. One story is about a holy baby in the mideast and the other is about a generous man in a red suit from the arctic. Which one is true? You’ll find people who say both stories are myths but they aren’t. Anthropologists and archeologists have found evidence that there was a fourth wise man who travelled to Bethlehem bearing gifts. He had a whole sack of them for the baby, mostly […]

24 Dec 2021


Make your house a beacon for the flying saint, Saint Nicholas (knicknamed Sinter Klaas by the Dutch and commercialized as Santa Claus by Coca Cola). If you ever wondered how he and his reindeer fly? Just gobble down some Amanita muscaria and wonder no more. Legend has it that Santa learned to fly in the far northern regions of Siberia wolfing down shrooms and guided by shamans. Each year he gathers up all the toys banged out by his elves […]

23 Dec 2021


COVID continues to surprize but not delight us. It is giving us all a crash course in genetic mutation. The Delta and Omicron variants are sweeping the globe and dominating the headlines, but there are certainly more variants out there that don’t make the news, maybe because they affect smaller populations or aren’t dangerous to humans. The FIAT variant is one of the more unusual mutations. Not only are the viruses incredibly large, they only seem to infect tiny cars. […]

22 Dec 2021


Monsieur Merdestupide is by far the world’s most prolific swallower. It’s a questionable talent perhaps, but he makes a decent living at it touring Europe throughout the summer months swallowing typical things like broken glass, nails, rusty cans, small animals, etc. Recently, a rivel emerged challenging Merdestupide’s supremacy. GĂ©ant Connards swallowed everything Merdestupide did and did it with flair. Sometimes he’d even load both ends of his gastrointestinal tract (not something I’d enjoy seeing). To regain his standing in September […]

21 Dec 2021


(Author’s note: This blog was inadvertently published on December 18th. D’oh! I am publishing it again with more content.) Happy Solar New Year! We’ve made it around the sun one more time, dodging comets, rouge asteroids and unfriendly aliens. Yosemite hasn’t blown up and California is still attached. So far, so good. Celebrating the Solstice dates back forever, way beyond recorded history. Back to the Neolithic Age and probably before as far back as the Paleolithic. We celebrate by dancing […]

20 Dec 2021


While taking a walk one weekend morning, I heard a buzz coming from behind me. I thought it was a car and turned around to see a small group of men on bikes approaching me. Each of them had modified their bikes to play a melody using playing cards stuck in the spokes of their wheels. As they rode they loudly hummed along (none of them in tune). When I took their photo, they stopped to chat in very heavy […]