The Worthlebees from Busted Fir, Montana decided it’s time to revive chemically-aided enhanced consciousness.

Wilfred Worthlebee has a PhD from Stanford in American cube theory and his wife, Cherry, has her PhD from Brown in cake mix design. They have co-authored and published several peer-review papers on the intersection of instant food and consumer corruption.

Last summer they found a big plastic bag of LSD tabs down in the subway below Port Authority in NY.

They did not know what the tabs were when they found them so they analyzed they by holding them up to a black light and seeing if they dissolved in coffee. Coffee was a bad choice because you couldn’t tell if the tabs were dissolving unless you drank the coffee.

The black light analisis was totally meaningless but the coffee test appeared to be statistically positive. They did not run any statistics, they just went on a mental magical mystery tour for a few hours after drinking the coffee, which appeared to confirm their hypothesis.

They were enlightened and spend the next several weeks drinking spiked coffee and designing a campaign to promote chemically-aided enhanced consciousness. They planned to travel the country turning people on like the Merry Pranksters did. They bought a bus to fix up and sought sponsors such as acid labs, mushroom growers, peyote farmers and snack food manufacturers.

They are selling ad space on the bus and will use it to visit every kind of rally, meeting, festival, conference they can find. They will have consciousness parties and recruit people to join their movement for a better America.

They are a little behind schedule.

They are about half way through the bag of tabs they found which keeps them motivated and in an almost permanent altered state. So far they did a half ass job painting the bus and found a rusty old, steel chimney to stick out one of the windows. The bus doesn’t have a motor and needs a new differential. It’s not going anywhere soon.

They haven’t written any letters or emails to potential sponsors and actually haven’t even identified any.

Overall things are going well. They still have plenty of coffee.

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