08 Oct 2021


He is too suspicious. Too ordinary. Too casual. You know he’s a spy. He is watching, Surveilling. He has secrets and knows ours. I’m not fooled by the newspaper. Way too obvious. He could have gotten away with this several years ago but now he sticks out and attracts stares. I’m going to get a paper and keep an eye on this guy.

07 Oct 2021


There are special artisans, Sandies, who specialize in sanding wood. They are spin off of the Masons and have their own secret society. You’ll know them by their crest. They emerged around the 13th century around the time people began wearing lighter clothing. When they wore heavy britches, people did not notice the roughness (and splinters) of their chairs. When butt splinters became an epidemics a faction of the Masons emerged to solve this problem. This was before sandpaper. The […]

06 Oct 2021


When is walking the dogs a whole body workout? When they weigh about 150 pounds each and are big and powerful enough to be hitched to a plow. At this size they don’t have leashes. they have reins. It takes strong chest and leg muscles to keep them from dragging you to where they want to go.

05 Oct 2021


The Anthropocene. It’s a new epoch, at least unofficially. It’s the current geologic age we are in when we are leaving our mark in the geologic record. We produce a lots of shit and it will still be here long after we are gone. Last month when the rains washed away hillsides, I was surprised to find a horizon of trash about 4-5 feet below the roadbed. Glass bottles, rusted metal. (I didn’t see any disposal diapers, though. It must […]

04 Oct 2021


I thought they were just regular mushrooms, toadstools. Little did I suspect their psychoactive potential. Woof down a cap or two and you may find yourself high up in a tree in your BVDs communicating with birds and beetles. Not that I would know. I don’t have BVDs. I wear Hanes.

03 Oct 2021


There are occasional bouts of mailbox pilfery out in the countryside where the mail is dropped off into metal and plastic boxes. It’s hard to imagine anyone finding value in my junk mail and bills but they seem to. Naturally when there is a need someone will step up to serve that need. Whence forth emerged the Mailbox Ninjas LTD., LLC They look innocuous and cute. but they are vicious. Try stealing mail from a protected box and you may […]

02 Oct 2021


Bins and bins of tightly wrapped, colored chunks of teeth rotting, carbohydrates and flavor esters just waiting to stimulate the mesolimbic dopamine system. Our ancient brains know that something sweet is a promising source of quick energy. Sugar gives the brain energy to learn where to get more sugar. The supermarket makes it easy. Just back in a dump truck piled with with sweets into aisles 2-4, drop your load and come back with a new load in a few […]

01 Oct 2021


People like to screw around with the American flag, making it different colors, putting text on it making clothes, hats, sunglasses. Folks stick flag poles in the beds of their pickup trucks and dry down the highway under bridges with soot-stained American flags wired to them. People have seemed to forgotten flag rules. Keep it clean, dry and pretty much just use it as a flag, not fashion. This particular flag seems a bit contradictory. I doubt indigenous people want […]

30 Sep 2021


Everyone knows about the Eye of Horus . It’s on our dollar bills. It’s a triangle shaped eye that the Egyptians used to cap their pyramids. It represents well-being, healing, and protection. Stuff like that. What is less known about is the Eye of Orbis. It’s a real eye. There are only a few of them scattered around the world in very remote places. Orbis was a prehistoric, half mammal-half reptile that survived the great asteroid impact which brought on […]

29 Sep 2021


I don’t know what was painted on the street but it must have been pretty awful. Shocking. I heard reports of grown men fainting when they saw it. Some children read it, ran away. from home and started a cult worshipping Teletubbies and living only on raisins and milk. An extreme reaction for sure. When words are this powerful, you need to do more than just paint over them. You need to eradicate them. Seal them off forever.