Some people think the apocalipso is coming. Four horsemen, fire and brimstone, locust, cats and dogs, poison ivy, flat beer, sour wine, the end of all good times. You never know, eh?

Assuming world devastation I set up my all natural, organic home defenses. I don’t want to hurt anyone but one needs to defend one’s castle, even if it’s just an old Chevy van down by the river.

To ward off post apocalipso zombies and pre-apocalipso zombies, I built an impenetrable berm around my van embedded with skunk canons. I can also fire groundhogs, racoons and opossums, but skunks are by far the best defense. Zombies’ heads fall off if they encounter skunk juice.

Naturally there is always the possibility of my berm being breached, but I’m prepared for that with my skunk squirt gun.

I have a nice little herd of skunks and have milked a few gallons of skunk juice ammo.

I am prepared. I’ve invited friends to come check it out and even offered to share some of my juice, but they’re busy people and haven’t been able to make it over yet.

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