Americans do not consume enough. We buys all kinds of things and they end up accumulating in our garages instead of being properly ingested and digested. Some people do it right. They are easy to pick out. They have a confident look and swagger of over-consumption.

The rest of us need to find more space and I’m putting my investment dollars into creating such space; secure modern storage space, not those crappy rows of cinder block boxes but instead, free-standing accessible space for your extra Tesla, renaissance artwork and your mother-in-law’s china with the chipped gravy boat.

Some clever people even use storage units as a convenient secret meeting places to drink Everclear, eat mushrooms and play three dimensional Shoots & Ladders. (I’m OK with that as long as I’m invited.)

The outside is deceiving. it is actually much worse inside. Lots of half filled, unlabeled drums that seem to be seeping a weird yellow sludge. It’s fine as long as you don’t step in it or let it touch your skin.

That is that what makes this space so valuable for your valuables. No idiot would ever want to go inside. But with the security fence and clever booby traps (notice the roof ladder? HA! It’s a booby trap!) no one could possible breach the perimeter anyway.

It also has a threatening no trespassing sign which puts the fear of a long painful death into any would be thief.

I will be renting this unit as soon as I finish the roof. There is currently a waiting list. Get in line.

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