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Category : Photo Stories

28 Sep 2021

MERMAID GILLS

How do mermaids breathe? Are they like lungfish, coming up for air?

Or do they breath under the sea? I’ve studied some of the films and I amn’t sure what to think.
The documentary film makers at Disney did not seem to address this. They were more concerned with legs but their footage never showed the mers surfacing for a breath while at the same time they could breath out of the water.

I think this could be a good field of study.…

27 Sep 2021

THE FILTER BIBLE

All the answers are in here. Seek and you’ll find. But bring reading glasses (maybe 2x or 3x).

The pages are thin and delicate but that so the publishers can fit more in, can add more information. Filter bibles have been around for a long time, probably as long as filters, but will they be with us forever?

My guess is that they will go the way of instruction manuals. All that wisdom will be off the pages and into the cyber world, ready to be hacked, falsified and held for ransom. It’s the evolution of knowledge. …

26 Sep 2021

SECURITY OWLS

Frank is a former NSA/CIA/FBI/IOU agent. He specialized in alternative surveillance methods. During the 1990s he trained penguins to infiltrate the Iranian Mafia and was able to break up the largest illegal fake flying carpet cartel in the world.

He retired about 15 years ago but never slowed down, finding new avenues for his skills and knowledge. About 10 years ago he developed a process of teaching owls to report suspicious activity. Local police were very interested and he supplied many of them with flocks of sharp-eared winged agents. Since then he’s gone into the home security business. A trained security owl costs about $25,000 but doesn’t include an owl box. That’s extra.…

25 Sep 2021

FRIED DEEPLY

Deep frying is when you stick something in a vat of really hot oil. Apparently, you can deep fried anything, even ice cream. Anything you want crunchy and oily on the outside. Deep fried chicken and fish are pretty standard along with Twinkies, cookies, deep fried soda and my favorite, deep fried lard.

Some people think it’s not healthy, but that’s what they used to say about butter, red meat and mercury. Just keep eating want you want until you die. …

24 Sep 2021

FOR OUTDOORSY COUCH POTATOES

Not all couch potatoes sit in dimly lit rooms eating chips in stained sweatshirts. (I do, but I’m not going there.). There are actually fitness-crazy couch potatoes who’ve taken the sport outdoors. Instead of bingeing on NetFlix in a stuffy living room, they do their potato thing outside where they binge on air and sunlight. Some have taken their sport to new heights, hauling their couches to the top of mountains, neatly trimming all the grasses around it and then slouching in it for weeks at a time. Instead of chips they snack on dried mushroom slices and beetles. Their sweatshirts do get stained, though, just like mine.…

23 Sep 2021

MORNING BLAHS

I don’t usually post selfies but sometimes I just want to express how I feel some mornings. A little sluggish, tired and ready to stay in bed. There are days when I’m, like… ya know, um, I dunno, just not there for some reason. I go out for a walk and don’t seem to go anywhere. My mind is a blank, empty, missing. I need a good dose of something, but can’t remember what.…

22 Sep 2021

RAIN GEAR

When it rains and you are outside, you get wet, unless you are prepared or innovative. I find the best way to stay dry when it is raining is to stay inside. But that is not always feasible. Sometimes we need to get and cross the road, maybe to chase a chicken. You can get raincoats from about $8 to hundreds of dollars. You can even get some that come 100 per box at about 50รง apiece. You may need to tailor these to fit properly. Unfortunately, they don’t come with instructions.…

21 Sep 2021

PIG HARVEST TIME

New Jersey is well known for its peaches and tomatoes but not as well known for its pork. As far as I know, there aren’t many giant hog farms in the state with huge lakes full of pig shit, but that doesn’t mean the garden state doesn’t do pigs, primarily the veggie kind. Maybe it’s why we are called the Garden State instead of the pig shit state.

NJ has the perfect climate for growing Suidaeum trees. These are fairly small (2-3 meters tall) woody plants that are easily propagated and grown in orchards. They can be planted very close to one another allowing farmers to grow many on small plots, up to 500 trees per acre. No trimming, pesticides or fungicides are needed for these hearty trees making them naturally organic. Many people have one or two growing along the edge of their property. Deer do not like them.

Each tree produces one small pig per season. Because they are vegetables (technically a fruit), there are no internal organs but there is a giant pit which tastes very much like heart and is quite popular among people who live near the NJ Turnpike, exits 1 through 13A.…

20 Sep 2021

TOMATL- The Swelling Fruit

Tomatoes, (tomatl in Nathuati) come to us from South and Central America where the Aztecs used them for bloody Tonantzins. They were also used to rate performances. A zero rating was the best. The rating was based on how many tomatl were thrown at the performers.

Tomatoes are a fruit, a berry, a juicy berry at that. You can mash it up and drink it. Sometimes with vodka. But noooooo. Americans call it a vegetable because it is served with meals. Americans are botanically illiterate. In 1893 the Supreme Court declared that it shall be classified as a vegetable to settle tariff disputes. Veggies were taxed but fruit weren’t.

Obviously the Supreme judges are botanically ignorant, too, but apparently like tariffs. We need more botanists on the bench. They also decided corporations are people. These people need some science courses.…

19 Sep 2021

SELF PORTRAIT

I don’t often post self portraits of my self. That’s not to say I don’t take them. I just don’t post them. I don’t know how the beauty filters work for men. But every once in a while I get a selfie that is worthy, flattering, chick-magnetizing and a delight for anyone to cast their gaze upon. A selfie that just screams. A selfie that would look great on a dating website. A selfie I can’t believe is me

I accomplished this phenomenal feat, recently. I just got a new dapper cap and wanted to show it off along with my great skin tone from being out in the sun. Everything is spot on except for a little trickle of sweat, but that is just deliberate imperfection. Wabi-sabi.…