Humans are essentially just a collection of tubes. Arm tubes and leg tubes attached to the main body tube with a ball at the top. Just like a balloon animal.

The best way to keep our tubes healthy is through good nutrition with USDA certified tube food.

One of my favorite places at the grocery store is the tube department. Sometimes I browse forever before settling on what tubes I’ll have for dinner. Two or three tubes a day is the minimum recommended daily allowance.

Undocumented research by the tube food industry that has not been published or peer reviewed indicates the nitrates and additives in tube food makes resistant to bacteria, mold, mildew, fungus, viruses, parasites and other pathogens. It’s the perfect food for future pandemics and the apocalypse.

It’s not really necessary to be picky about your choices. All the tubes and the stuff inside come from the same factory in Shenhou, a gritty little, factory town about 30 miles from Jengbin.

It’s all good.

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