Dr. Roy Obit, PhD, LLC, LTD is a neurological researcher and inventor. He specializes in thoughts, other people’s thoughts, men’s thoughts in particular.

Dr. Roy is investigating how often men think about sex. One study indicated men think about sex about 19 times a day on average. The study relied on subjects self-reporting how often their minds were in their pants.

It’s probably an underestimate. If a guy is lost in fleshy musings, what’s the likelihood he’ll going to stop self-titillating himself to report to investigators? So Dr. Roy set out to compile objective data that did not rely on repeated confessions.

To do that he knew he would need to see inside the brain to determine when sizzling, lurid, erotic, hot, lusty, carnal, hubba-hubba thoughts were occurring in real time.

Hooking up people to probes in the lab would definitely bias the results. It’s hard to have fornicating fantasies when you’ve got electrodes attached to your head.

So Dr. Roy invented a portable, Bluetooth device, a sextometer, to determine when a guy’s brain is in the gutter. It works on the principle of quantum colocation. As neurons in the brain are activated by some juicy thoughts, their atoms spin clockwise at a frequency of 837 hz.

The Sextometer detects this and will produce a color coded readout ranging from yellow to dark red. Yellow readouts are generally PG thoughts. As the thoughts become more X- rated the color changes to red and then dark red. Some subjects have produced deep violet readouts.

As he was explaining it to me the displays lit up several times as men passed us on the street. Each time it lit up, a targeted Google ad popped up (mostly for lubes and condoms)

Dr. Roy has written several peer-reviewed papers on the device and has been awarded a U.S. patent. He is working on a version that is worn on the wrist like an Apple watch and plans to market it to women so they can gage the men they encounter.

The watch also has a nice stun feature.

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