Neighbors are supposed to be neighborly. That’s where the word comes from. “…of, relating to, or characteristic of congenial neighbors. Friendly.”

Not quite. This is America.

Roger and Fred have been neighbors for years and so far have tried to kill or seriously injure the other since at least 2016. I forget exactly what happened in 2016 but it was pretty awful.

These guys used to share everything; food, tools, cars, underwear, hemorrhoid cream. They were were ‘bro’s.’

Ain’t no more, especially when they get on their machines.

During the last snow they happened to meet up on the road while plowing and immediately started aiming for the other. It was a slow motion battle royale, sure to leave only one man standing.

Roger had the speed with his quad, but Fred had the weight with his garden tractor. He’d modified mower last summer, intending to chop Roger to pieces. If he knew he’d be seeing Roger, he’d have left it on for the winter.

It was brutal. They screamed, They clashed. They put rocks inside of snowballs and threw them at each other. Sparks flew, blood flowed.

And just when they were about to ram full speed, head on in a final, furious, fiery , explosive, climactic, crash, the DOT snow plow came roaring down the road and destroyed them both.

I’m pretty sure I saw their wives riding in the cab of the snow plow. I wonder what they were doing there.

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