logo

GRANDPA JOE

It looks like your typical warm and fuzzy retirement story. A hardworking man labors his whole life, savoring the time he can retire and open a candy store. And that’s actually the story here. Joe Pizzarelli graduated from college in 1959 and went on to earn two advanced degrees, one in neuroscience and the other in biochemistry, worked his whole life and open this little shop in 2015.

Joe was drafted in 1970 and instead of being shipped to the killing fields he was placed at DARPA to apply his specialized knowledge to projects only conspiracy nuts would believe.

After ten years at DARPA he was released and started his own company developing biochemical agents that intermingled with the body’s neurology to create certain desired effects such as aggression, passivity and obedience. His primary client was the US Military. He stayed under the radar enough to avoid being crushed by big pharma. Being associated with DARPA didn’t hurt either.

But that’s all behind him now. Each day he gladly gets up at dawn to work in his shop making candy. He wears a red pinstripe shirt, a little bowtie and an apron that says “Go ahead and eat your candy, that’s what toothbrushes are for!”

The shop is very popular especially with parents who are eager to indulge their children. It’s become routine for to include candy for the kids at breakfast time and at every meal.

They marvel at how well behaved their children are when they get their daily allowance of Grandpa Joe’s special candy. Toothbrush sales are brisk.

Comments are closed.