Verde was always a nature girl. She loved the woods especially in the summertime when the the leaves are full and green. Her south facing room was so full of plants she could have sold CO2 offsets. At night she dreamed of living in the treetops, swaying in the wind and and listening to the rustle of leaves.

As she grew older she started green clubs at school and later became a member of the Green party. She studied botany at college where she met like-minded friends. One night she was invited to a midnight gathering. Puzzled why it was starting so late she was told it was when photosynthesis slowed and the plants rested. She was still puzzled but went anyway.

About twenty people were gathered in a small room lit only by a dim red light. Each was given a leaf and a small nut. The leaf smelled like mint and the nut smelled like a hickory. For an hour not much happened. Soft music played with sound of wind in the background. It was weird but relaxing. As the night wore on Verde became hungry and began nibbling at her nut. It was delicious and was soon gone but it left a bit of an aftertaste so she sucked gently on the mint leaf and slowly dozed off.

When she awoke it was morning and only a few people remained. Each of them had been given a plastic bag to store their leaf and nut and appeared to regard them with wonder and a little bit of fear. Verde had been given a bag too, but slept through whatever instructions had been given. One of the other attendees, Alba, asked where her leaf and nut were. When she explained that she ate them. Alba stared at her wide-eye and was too flustered to speak. She just back away.

Verde was used to strange people and didn’t make to much of it, but she began feeling a strong craving for sunlight. She began walking through the park, always staying on the sunny side and soon felt an urge to find a patch of soil self in a nice sunny spot and stay there. As she settled in she felt her feet and legs reaching into the soil and her skin to begin to foliate and leaves pushed their way out her clothes. But she didn’t panic, it felt good. As her face and head harden into wood her final thoughts were prayers that she wouldn’t be weedwacked.

Instead, she was dug up and potted and is now part of a herbarium collection at the Last Laugh Institute. She was even identified as a new species and given the name Humanus verde.

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