It works for cavities why not acne?

There is always a little controversy surrounding fluoridation of drinking water, but authorities don’t really give a shit. If you drink municipal-supplied water you’re going to get some fluoride to protect your teeth and that’s that! We do not want a population of toothless rubes ruining our reputation in the world.

If you are on a well, the CDC recommends adding a teaspoon of toothpaste to a glass of warm water and chugging it down first thing every morning. Minty toothpastes are the best. I usually add a couple teaspoons of sugar and some lemon juice.

Tastes great. I look forward to it every morning.

While it still immensely profitable, executives at United Fluoride were pressured into boosting profits when they were acquired by Biegazoles, a hedge fund.

Executives being executives delegated the responsibility to their staff.

The staff had no frigging idea what to do and turned to the firm’s fluoride scientists.

After extensive literature search, attending multiple fluoride conferences and writing letters to advice columns, they too were flummoxed. That is until a junior scientist, Dr. Abigail Wichtaw, described how her son would use tap water in his facial steamer to control his acne.

That was the answer they were looking for, fluoride aerosols.

Knowing that quarterly profit reports were due, the scientists skipped all the bothersome experimenting, paper writing and debate and brought their conclusions to management.Management turned it over to its marketing department and immediately began lobbying the CDC, FDA and EPA to endorse its findings. Things move slowly in Washington but if you connect with the right people you can get things moving.

Within a month it was determined that fluoridated air was in the public interest and laws were passed requiring all municipalities to add fluoride to the atmosphere in sufficient quantities to maintain 100 ppm concentrations.

United Fluoride easily made its quarterly projections and is currently researching how to fluoridate food.

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