A few years ago, everyone was freaked out about electromagnetic radiation. Being in an electromagnetic field (EMF) too long would turn your insides to jelly or so they said.

It doesn’t.  It mainly only affects the brain.  It does turn it into mush, it makes it mushier and in a good way.  None of this has been studied or proven but who are you going to believe?

Thoughts are billions of tiny electric sparks jumping from neuron to neuron.  If you look at yourself in the mirror in a dark room and think really hard you can see this electrical activity in your eyes.

As the old saying goes “Eyes are the windows of the brain.”  That’s why you can tell if someone is really pissed at you.  Their pupils are like an electrical storm.

Scientific papers on brain neurology make no mention of this, so we know it’s true.  It’s always what they don’t say that we can trust.  It makes just sense that if we can artificially increase electrical brain activity, we’ll be smarter.  And if we’re smarter, we’ll be richer.

Who doesn’t want to be rich?  Even rich people want to be richer.

I want to be rich and smarter, too, and decided to get my brain some good electricity.

I don’t have an electric truck so I can’t get my EMFs while I drive.  Instead, I built a sturdy little bungalow under some high-tension lines and lived in it for a week. 

Talk about catching a buzz!!  The hiss and crackle above my head made me feel like I was in Dr. Frankenstein’s lab being reanimated.  My hair stood on end the whole time and my genitals vibrated.   I knew something big was happening.

I had taken a home IQ test before stepping into my shack and registered an impressive 78.  I was cognitively impaired (whatever that means).

After my week of soaking in EMFs my IQ jumped to 72, proving without a doubt I am smarter.  I can feel it.  My eyes are so bright now, I don’t even need a light to read.  Especially hard books.

You can rent my shack for only $250 a week. For an extra $100 I’ll include a door. You’ll be lots of smarter.

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