She seemed so innocuous. Just another mom out shopping and stopping to get some photo prints made. The local Walmarts are not as crowded as the have been in the past, especially the non-food areas, so she took advantage of this to pursue her mission. What better way to hide nefarious actions that right out in the open? As I wandered by and I looked up at all the TVs they suddenly flashed to high resolution satellite images of our nuclear missile batteries. Apparently she realised this and quickly switched them back. But that gave me time to notify NORAD.

Within minutes she was surrounded by large men with sunglasses dressed in Walmart vests who led her away. It happened so quickly hardly anyone noticed.

After they left I saw a scrap of paper on the floor where she had been sitting and picked up.

It was a list, partially check off: bananas, toilet paper, Jello, pickled pig hooves, oranges, disable nuclear arsenal, sponges and paper towels. Shocking. I had no idea Walmart sold pig hooves.

Comments are closed.