There used to be two. They were great knockers on the steel doors of the castle. They had to be massive for the knocking to be heard in the great halls. Visitors were few. The castle was built in the middle of a snake and evil teddy bear-filled swamp. If you didn’t get bit by a snake the bears might get to you, hugging your legs and head, making travel impossible. This was the third castle built here. The other […]
The signs are subtle and mysterious but there is no doubt that extra-terrestrial life forms are among us. You have to be astute to see them and insightful to be able to interpret them. They are here and are trying to communicate with us. Some people dismiss the possibility of aliens. Have you ever seen an actual UFO or decent photo of one? Even the US military with super high tech cameras and detailed high resolution satellites has only captured fuzzy, […]
Everyone knows time travel is a fantasy. It makes for great books and movies but anyone who believes it is possible hasn’t studied the equations. Totally impossible. It cannot happen. Time is too sticky. We are all stuck in the present But that doesn’t mean you can’t see into the future. Idio’s future view camera not only sees into the future it can take a picture. He can point it at anything, dial in the date and see the scene […]
They grew up watching The Wild One, Easy Rider and watching Evil Knievel break all the bones in his body. They bought Hondas and tried to become Hell Angels. The Angels just beat them up and set their bikes on fire. That set them back but they persevered. They saved up as much money as they could and bought mopeds to tour the country from Green Slime, NJ to LA. They planned their route, packed all their gear and set […]
Dave Berkoflavin was feeling bored and directionless. Being a cube dweller for over twelve years was getting to him. He’d had his job at the Xerozatis Factory Corporation for over 12 years and really wasn’t getting anywhere. XFC had promoted hime to manager but that didn’t really change anything. The work still sucked and he wasted more time scrolling Twitter and texting friends than working as the Manager of Inbound Exports QRC Monitoring. One, clammy, rainy day as he completed […]
This is a historic site, Mailbox Zero and receives about 11 visitors a year (plus the local mailman). We didn’t always have these dome-shaped boxes. Before that you had to go pick up your mail or have it delivered in return for sex, a chicken, some preserves or another nice, homey gift. In some parts of the country you still have to pick up your mail unless the mail delivery person is into you and you are ok with that. […]
Nothing gets decided without the “board’s” approval. We don’t know they are. We only know their shapes. One of them has a huge gut. It could be almost anyone. They could be the Illuminati but I did not see any pyramids with floating eyes. Overall I think they are doing a terrible job. Things are a mess. You would think with centuries of secret knowledge they would have gotten better at picking presidents, controlling the market and preserving earth. Dumbfucks. […]
The Worthlebees from Busted Fir, Montana decided it’s time to revive chemically-aided enhanced consciousness. Wilfred Worthlebee has a PhD from Stanford in American cube theory and his wife, Cherry, has her PhD from Brown in cake mix design. They have co-authored and published several peer-review papers on the intersection of instant food and consumer corruption. Last summer they found a big plastic bag of LSD tabs down in the subway below Port Authority in NY. They did not know what […]
The town council of Happy Pleasant Hills, Indiana was getting increasingly worried about how the town seemed to be losing its wholesomeness, its purity, its inner beauty. Young people and some old weird ex-hippy types were trying to make changes. They’d congregate in the town parks and talk to each other. What could they be saying? Old people and young people don’t talk to each other in Happy Pleasant Hills. Young people ride their skateboards and try to knock over […]
I found it the attic one night. It was in a sealed metal box that was welded shut. It had a bright orange biohazard warning on it. On the top was a another warning: “DO NOT OPEN THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES – HIGHLY DANGEROUS.” I thought wow, this is really something and ran downstairs to get my torch. It took about an hour to cut through the thick metal box. Inside was another metal box with a skull and crossbones […]