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08 Jan 2022

INTER DIMENSIONAL TRAVEL

So yeah, video games have come a long way since Asteroids. (ptew! ptew! ptew!). Now for only 50 cents you can actually transport yourself into other dimensions. What a bargain, Asteroids cost 25 cents a million years ago. I was watching and thought this was just one of those driving, crash-into-stuff, run over-people video games until I saw the kid getting all sparkly like when being transported on Star Trek. I could even hear that sound effect. The lights dimmed […]

07 Jan 2022

ICY EYES

I’ve heard the legends and now I know they are true. Coyotl, a disciple of Quetzalcoatl,  is a neolithic shaman, who wanders the hills of Nockamixon in spirit form, luring men into his realm and devouring their soul. He only lures men, whose minds are simpler and souls easier to devourer than women or teenagers who don’t take his shit. I often hear him howling deep in the woods at night. Sometimes at my door. Then one night, in my […]

06 Jan 2022

OAK APPLE

It’s a real thing, but it’s not an apple and doesn’t grow on oak trees. It’s a nickname given to a gall created by a wasp. Fake folklore has it that oak apples are natural aphrodisiacs and farmers used to collect them for their livestock before switching over to artificial insemination. Some farmers may have tried a few themselves, too. Farm families are unusually large (12-20 children) where oak apples are common and the farmers are among the most cheerful […]

05 Jan 2022

R2NLDMACRONNO

It could be the answer to our current crisis. It is a newly synthesized molecule that both treats symptoms and immunizes. If you get sick you get a shot. You’re cured and are fully vaccinated. It’s such an elegant solution and was designed accidently by artificial intelligence at CELAXAPHIN. CELAXAPHIN is a logistics firm coordinating supply side load with demand side demand and depletion depreciation. It does a lot of complex modeling and relies heavily on organic algorithms that continuously […]

04 Jan 2022

MORNING MEDITATION

As we age things slow down. Sometimes way down. It’s not healthy. Common advice is to eat plenty of fiber and exercise, but in this age of dawning enlightenment we know we can take this further and franchises are emerging that can train us to make our morning constitution a spiritual practice. Zen monks talk about spending time on the cushion where they may sit for hours not thinking. The founders of Mindful Movement realized many of us were also […]

03 Jan 2022

HOVER CAR

Hover cars were really big for a while in the sixties, especially in remote places like Dustville Oklahoma and Cornpone Nebraska. You could buy a hover car kit from the Sears Roebuck catalog and convert your dad’s clunky, four wheeled car car into a smooth riding cruising machine. They work on the principle of reverse-osmotic, magno-gravitation pull. Once activated they would hover indefinitely. While the hovering part worked great, there wasn’t a good propulsion system. Propellers proved to be too […]

02 Jan 2022

WINTER WORMS

We usually think of worms as being a summer critter, coming out after a rain and baking to a crisp on roads and sidewalks, but there are winter varieties too, and they are delicious. Summer worms are horrible and I wouldn’t recommend eating them. As you might expect, they taste like dirt. Winter worms are a different story. They have a delicate flavor often described as a blend of oyster, snail and salamander. I alway go worm gathering at dawn […]

01 Jan 2022

COAL FIRED SAUNA

Personal saunas are huge in PA coal country. The saunas themselves aren’t huge (they’re tiny) but they are hugely popular. Unlike the wimpy Swedish kind, made out of cedar with a bench to sit on, Pennsylvania saunas are made out of Bethlehem steel and you curl up into a ball and sit on the floor. There are also no hot rocks to pour water on (also wimpy). Instead, there is a nice hot bed of burning coal which really heats […]

31 Dec 2021

DRONE HUNT

The New Year’s Eve drone hunt contest has become a tradition in many parts of the country, especially here in PA where people like shooting things. Drones have proliferated almost everywhere. At first they were owned and operated by licensed professionals who were trained to control them. But that was then, this is now. Licences aren’t required anymore and any yahoo who wants one can buy one. As a result, many have escaped and become an invasive nuisance. You can’t […]

30 Dec 2021

WELLHEAD

Abandoned wells are a huge problem from both an environmental and safety perspective. There are countless abandoned oil wells, gas wells and water wells just waiting for a kid to fall into and become the leading news story for a week. As dangerous as these kind of wells are, abandoned man wells are even more of a threat. Dozens of these wells were drilled across the country in the eighties by USGS volcanologists. The wells allowed them to climb down, […]