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23 Jul 2021

PLANT LEGS

Sticks that walk. A trip-taking-twig hopefully inconspicuous enough to avoid a bug-biting-beak. Of course where it walks makes a difference. Crawling on a white door is probably not the best strategy. Walking sticks manage to evade notice by predators that search for food by sight. When you aren’t seen, you aren’t eaten. But watch out for bats with their echolocation. An otherwise visually invisible insect is simply another obvious morsel for a bat that hunts by hearing. I noticed there […]

22 Jul 2021

NON JUDGEMENTAL

This must be a non-judgemental zone. No calling strikes or outs. There must be a reason, but apparently that seems to be in question. I may be misinterpreting, though. It looks like a letter was painted over. (Being an observant photographer I picked up on these things.) Upon further scrutiny and thoughtful analysis I am guessing it may be a questionable prohibition against parachuting. Not a safe spot?

21 Jul 2021

ROUGH DRY LAUNDRY

Sounds pretty rugged. Maybe even tough. Rough and tough. I like the dry part but not so much the rough part, especially for my delicates. Of course it is better than squishy wet laundry. Maybe that’s how it starts out and this company was founded to address that problem. Problem solved, but now what? Where is the Soft Smooth Laundry Company?

20 Jul 2021

COMMUNITY SERVICER

I thought he was a parking ticket provider, generously leaving love notes for people who overstay their duly allotted time. No, instead he provides guidance for befuddled visitors to Center City in Philly and keeps an eye on things. He’s a CSR, a Community Service Representative out patrolling the streets. He’s equipped with a two-way radio, ¬†first-aid gear, maps, Tic Tacs, dilithium crystals, dessert forks, a holographic projector, a medicine ball and more. CSRs are prepared to administer first aid, […]

19 Jul 2021

FERAL INSECTS

Even insects can go rogue, abandoning their societal-assigned roles and busting out. Seeking excitement and adventure. This is more common among adolescent insects than mature ones. They have wanderlust (and lustlust). Bees are especially notorious for this. Probably because they are pretty much the only domesticated insect, cajoled to live in apartment complexes where their honey keeps being stolen by people in white suits. It’s a death trap, a suicide rap. They were born to run. And find their own […]

18 Jul 2021

RIGHT KEEP TRAFFIC SLOWER

Left keep people rushing. Gating on tail, no. Sign by is explained everything.

17 Jul 2021

FIVE

It’s a sign. A message from the universe. What is it telling us? What does it mean. Is it about the little piggies (they have such a complicated relations what with the marketing, roast beef and wee- wee-weeeing). Maybe it a message to play the lottery, the one that only uses only 10 bouncing ping pong balls. Or is it satanic? Like pentagrams, upside down stars and forks with five prongs. I need to find a soothsayer.

16 Jul 2021

MARKOUT TO HELL

If you are going to do an excavation you need to call for a markout. That’s so you don’t get electrocuted by underground power lines, blown up by hitting a gas main or lynched for cutting off the internet when you slice through fiber optic or cable lines. In Philadelphia they have conduits to hell. The conduits are for demons, allowing them to commute and get around the city efficiently. Satan has a pretty good engineering department. If you damaged […]

15 Jul 2021

GORILLA MEMORIAL

It’s Mighty Joe, the gorilla. He used to be called George when he was at a go-kart track in Wildwood. He was not well cared for, his feet having buckled under him in a storm. Not a very dignified existence.  Larry Valenzano, a gas station owner used to pass by him and George reminded him of his late son who was a body builder and was known as Mighty Joe. So Larry bought George fixed him up, transported him across […]

14 Jul 2021

DON’T TIP COWS

They don’t need the money. I’ve never tipped a cow or even tried. It’s mean. Imagine snoozing on your feet and suddenly having someone push you over. Crash, smashed head, maybe a broken rib. Fortunately, I don’t sleep standing up and neither do cows. They lay down and take short naps. They are always aware of their surroundings, even when snoozing, so it’s hard to sneak up on them. They weigh over 1000 pounds and are well balanced on their […]